“Lately, I’ve been learning rest isn’t something you earn – it’s something you listen to.”
Dipping our toes in Japan ❤
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about rest. Not in a dramatic, life-overload kind of way, but in the very real, everyday sense. The kind of rest that feels a little uncomfortable because you know there are things you could be doing, emails you could answer, tasks you could check off. And yet, something in you knows that slowing down is exactly what’s needed.
What I’ve noticed is that resting isn’t actually the hard part. The hard part is the guilt that creeps in the moment you decide to pause. That voice that says you should be more productive, more consistent, more ahead than you are right now. Especially if you’re someone who cares deeply about what you’re building, where you’re going, and who you’re becoming, rest can feel like falling behind, even when you’re exhausted. This guilt consumes your mind and your well being to no end. So why do we allow ourselves to not take a second to rest? Why do we continue to push through this exhaustion not making any healthy progress along the way? It’s because once we choose to slow down the thoughts continue to grow louder so we continue to push through to try and make them quiet again.
For a lot of people, productivity became tied to worth at a really young age. We learned that being useful, accomplished, or “on top of things” made us feel safe, praised, or accepted. So when we rest, it can feel like we’re doing something wrong
There’s also fear underneath it. Fear that if we stop, we’ll fall behind. Fear that others will move ahead without us. Fear that momentum, motivation, or opportunities will disappear if we take our foot off the gas. Rest asks us to trust and trust can feel scary when you’ve learned to survive by pushing.
But I’m learning that rest isn’t giving up or losing momentum. It’s listening. It’s noticing when your body feels heavy instead of pushing through it. It’s recognizing when your mind feels scattered and choosing not to force clarity. It’s allowing yourself to stop long enough to recalibrate instead of running on empty and calling it discipline. The second I feel myself out of calibration. Meaning, I am more irritable, feeling unsafe around friends who pick me up, insecure and becoming a hermit. I know my body needs rest, even though my mind isn’t ready for it.
Intentional rest looks different than zoning out or numbing yourself. It’s not avoidance. It’s presence. It’s choosing to slow down because you trust that nothing meant for you disappears when you do. It’s understanding that your worth isn’t measured by how much you can produce in a day, and that taking care of your nervous system is just as important as chasing goals.
It’s being able to look back on everything you have planted and trusting in the process it will come to fruition now. To be able to sit back in your comfy chair, take a big sigh and say “I did everything I could, now to trust the in-between.
What’s surprised me most is how much clarity comes after I rest. Not during the pushing, not in the overthinking, but in the quiet moments when I stop gripping so tightly. The motivation always comes back. The ideas come back too. They just arrive calmer, clearer, and more aligned than when I try to force them.
I think we’re taught that rest has to be earned, that it’s something you get only once everything is finished. But the truth is, nothing is ever really finished. And waiting until you’re completely depleted to rest isn’t strength…. it’s survival mode. There’s a big difference between avoiding your responsibilities and honoring your capacity, and learning that difference has been a game changer for me.
So if today feels slower than you planned, that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. If your energy is low, it doesn’t mean you’re off track. And if you feel the need to pause, that might actually be your intuition doing its job.
You don’t need to explain your rest. You don’t need to justify it with productivity. And you definitely don’t need to feel guilty for choosing yourself. Sometimes the most aligned thing you can do is let a day be gentle and trust that things will continue to unfold exactly as they’re meant to.
Nothing meaningful is lost when you rest with intention.
If anything, that’s often where everything starts to come back into focus.
xoxo, alli ❤
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