There’s this thing that happens and maybe you’ve felt it too.
You’re trying so hard to force something into place. Whether it’s a deal, a relationship, your business, or even just your next move in life. You’re doing everything right, working late, manifesting, praying, tweaking, posting, doubting, fixing and somehow, it still feels like… nothing is landing.
You start obsessing over every detail. Over-analyzing why something isn’t clicking. Refreshing your inbox like it’s going to deliver clarity. Holding your breath, hoping someone else will validate the effort you’ve been pouring out. Speaking the most negative words to ourselves and thinking it is our fault.
Been there? Yeah. Me too. Recently to be honest….. & plenty of times in the past.
Real Estate (and Life) Will Humble The F Out Of You. But, Also Grow You!
This career is wild. You can go from a high of “we’re under contract!!!” to the gut-punch of “they backed out” in the same day. One moment you’re showing dream homes with stars in your eyes, and the next you’re deep in paperwork, fighting imposter syndrome, or wondering if your latest social post was too much… or not enough. If we will sell a house again? When will the rates drop? Can I pay my bills???
And honestly? It’s not just real estate, that roller-coaster shows up in life, too.
For a while, I thought obsessing meant I cared. That constantly checking my inbox, replaying conversations, and stressing over why things weren’t clicking meant I was being committed. That if I just pushed a little harder, stayed up a little later, tried to control every part of the process… it would all finally “work.” Boy was I wrong… The more I obsessed over everything that wasn’t happening for me, the more I put myself into a hole. I wasn’t working as hard as I used to or being true myself. I knew dang well that the market wasn’t doing well and it wasn’t just me. So I had to pick myself back up and remember who the heck I am!! So your girl got a part time serving gig. lol
But guess what? That serving gig actually helped me let go of that obsession.
Yep. The thing I once thought would be a “distraction” became the exact thing that grounded me. It gave me something else to focus on, a reminder that I am more than my career, and more than the closings I do or don’t have. It created space between me and the outcome. Also brought me in some good side money while the market wasn’t doing well 🙂
Space Creates Flow
The second I release the grip, even a little, things start to move. It truly shows that being controlling over something really doesn’t do you any good.
When I stop obsessing over the listing that hasn’t gone live yet, the buyer I haven’t heard from, the content that didn’t go viral… something shifts. Not just energetically, but practically.
I show up lighter. I remember why I love this. I create from a place of authenticity instead of stress.
And you know what happens? The call comes in. The client texts back. The showing request lands. The ideas flow again. Not because I chased it to exhaustion but because I allowed space for things to unfold. I took a step back from the spaghetti bowl of thoughts that were in my head about everything not going right that finally things started to go right!
Let me be clear! I’m still putting in the work. But I’ve learned to pour my energy into aligned action… and then let it breathe. I don’t need to stalk every MLS update or beat myself up when someone chooses another agent. I trust my people will find me because I’m out here doing it with heart, consistency, and truth.
It’s not lazy to detach from obsession. It’s wise.
Obsession is Rooted in Fear
And when we loosen the grip, even just a little, we give fear less air to breathe.
Whether you’re in real estate, building something from scratch, healing through something, or just navigating life in a season of becoming always remember this:
- You don’t need to micromanage your destiny
- What’s meant for you doesn’t need to be chased, it needs to be welcomed
- Your value isn’t measured by how tightly you can hold it all together
I recommend this podcaster on Spotify for over thinkers like me!
Hosted by Kristen Odegaard, this self-coaching podcast is made for overthinkers, perfectionists, and anyone caught in a loop of doubt and fear. STOP OVERTHINKING – Podcast
Your Life is Not on Hold
So if you’re in a season of waiting. Ask yourself:
“Where can I give myself grace right now?”
“What if the best thing I can do today is trust?”
Because sometimes, the biggest breakthrough isn’t from trying harder. It’s from stepping back and breathing softer.
Final Thoughts ❤
If you’re gripping too tight right now maybe tonight is your sign to just let go a little. Breathe. Walk away from the screen. Take your hands off the wheel for a second. The energy doesn’t flow when you’re forcing it.
I’ve learned (over and over) that when I stop micromanaging what’s not coming, the right things finally start to move.
And if no one’s said it lately:
You’re not behind. You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
So here’s your reminder:
✨ You don’t need to chase what’s already yours.
✨ You’re allowed to rest and still receive.
✨ You don’t have to figure it all out tonight.
Because the moment you stop obsessing, it starts clicking.
It’s always been that way. And it always will.
Save this. Reread it when you’re spiraling.
Come back to this when you’re in your head.
When you stop obsessing, it starts working. ❤
xoxo, Alli
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