“In a world of sh***y dealt cards, be the hand that is always winning in your favor”
There was a time when I looked at my situation and thought, “Why me?” It took a while to realize something important. The cards I was dealt weren’t going to change. But, that I could change the way I showed up to the table.
See, in life you won’t always be dealt that winning hand. Take yourself back to a time when you were playing goldfish with your family/friends. How did you come into the game? Did you come in thinking you were going to get dealt the “perfect” hand? That you were going to win on the first round?? I mean, we all like to, but honestly, that’s not real life. In real life, we will have crazy hands dealt everyday, but I want you to stop and think. How can I come at this hand differently?
There are moments in life that define you, not because they were easy, but because you survived them. And if you’re like me, you’ve had seasons where everything felt like it was falling apart at once. These seasons aren’t just one year out of your life. They will happen almost every year it feels like. You can’t blame the world for bringing you a hard year. But, you can blame yourself for the way you are handling it.
I’ve walked through weight battles that affected not just my body, but my confidence. I’ve experienced the loss of my parents at a very young age. I’ve navigated the end of a marriage, facing the reality of divorce with more questions than answers. And I’ve had to rebuild myself from the ground up. More than once. It’s something of course that has been hard, but each time I re-build. I come out stronger than before.
The truth is, I didn’t ask for any of it. None of us do. We don’t get to choose the losses, the heartbreaks, the setbacks (The Hand Dealt). But, we do get to choose how we respond and play the hand given. At one point, I let these hardships define me. I went through the motions. I pretended I was okay. Silently, I carried the weight of it all physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I wasn’t ready to change my hand yet, my head wasn’t in the right place to show up.
But eventually, I reached an ah-ha moment. A moment where I realized that although I couldn’t change the past, I could take control of my present. I could decide how I wanted to show up, not just for others, but for myself.
I started taking small steps. I committed to my health, not just to lose weight, but to feel strong in my own body. I gave myself permission to grieve my parents, and also to live in a way that would make them proud. I stopped letting the pain of my divorce define my worth. Instead, I started asking what kind of life I truly wanted to build. And most importantly, I started showing up with more resilience, grace, and intention. I started to think more about others and their feelings. Remembering that everyday, we are all going through a sh***y hand.
Everything wasn’t always easy. But every single day that I chose to move forward, I grew stronger. I finally came to see that my hands may never be dealt with the perfect win. But, I can easily sit back with good intention and play the hand well. Like a poker player, with the best poker face 🙂
I’ve learned that transformation isn’t about erasing the past. It’s about rising with it. It’s about honoring your story, and then choosing how the next chapter unfolds. No matter where that chapter leads you in the next adventure!
So no, I couldn’t control the cards I was dealt. But I’ve learned to play them with courage, and I’m building a life I love. One day, one choice, one act of faith at a time.
To anyone who’s in the middle of their own storm: keep going. You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become.
Xoxo, Alli ❤
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