As far back as I can remember I wanted to be a gangster….. hahahaha I hope ya’ll giggled about that. If not, you better go watch Goodfella’s right now.
– Anyways, as far back as I can remember I have always been a giver. Someone who would drop everything in an instant to help my friends in need, buy them surprise flowers, coffee, things that reminded me of them and I always share my successes & failures. But what if I told you I was never truly open to receiving anything back from them? I wouldn’t dare to let someone spend a dime on me, or tell me their secret to success, surprise me with flowers or go out of their way at all. Why though? – Now rewind back to my childhood. I had what every child would pray for. Until one night in 2006 when it changed forever. My brother’s and I lost both of our parents in a car accident right near the house. As an 11 year old, I didn’t know what to do and to be honest my life flashed before my eyes after that & before I knew it I was a teenager. I found my personality and I ran with it. – Luckily I got the loving and kind hearted part from my mom (& the looks of course 🙂 & the sociable, giving half from my dad. My dad was the one who would always be out with his friends, treating them to dinners, making sure they always felt loved and appreciated. My dad didn’t have much family. He lost his mom & dad when he was a teenager, and moved in with his brother & his wife. He started working at a local Dominos Pizza and from there his career took off. He was amazing at networking & always gave love and information to anyone who came into his circle of trust. He went on to franchise 3 Domino’s Pizza’s in Maryland & helped others open their own. He gave so much value and love to others that in return made him flourish.
When you don’t have much family at a young age, you end up choosing your own. Friends that come into your life that you know were sent to you by your guardian angels or even people you just meet. We are all in this world to truly connect to others on another level and help each-other reach our full potential. So why was I so eager to help everyone else but never truly open myself to be helped?
I swear all of that rambling wasn’t for nothing. -So this week I go into my launch class with Carolina One & I walk into my mentor’s office (Barbara, who is literally a god-sent angel) I ask her “Can we talk for a moment?” She pulls out a chair for me and gestured me to sit down. We get to talking about all the odd end jobs I have going on just to make it by and my life in a nutshell basically. She asks me “Have you ever read the Go-Giver?” I said, “Honestly I’ve never heard of it.” She gets the book down from her bookshelf & hands it to me. She says “Alli, I can tell you are a very giving person. You love to be loved but you never are open to receiving that same love back.” – – and ya’ll did she not just read me like an open book??? I literally sank in my chair and said “You are absolutely right.” So what did I do? I went home that night & finished that book in two days. This book will now forever be the way I “live my life by” & let me tell you why…
Now these “Five Laws of Success” can pertain to your life in so many ways. In this book it pertains to relationships & growing your business. I am not an avid reader but when I started reading I couldn’t stop. It spoke to me on so many levels.
First Law – The Law of Value
“Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you receive in payment”
Think about it like this,
- A bad restaurant provides only the level of food and service necessary to justify what it charges.
- A good restaurant provides the highest quality and greatest quantity it can for the price.
- A great restaurant strives to provide better food and service than its customers can pay for.
This approach exemplifies the Law of Value: but what if it leads to bankruptcy? – first priority should be whether your enterprise serves and adds value to others. If it does, then ask whether it makes money.
The same for relationships (friends and loved ones.) If you are constantly just showering them with expensive gifts but not providing them with the love, care or value they are searching for it wont build the foundation any stronger. You just keep trying to “buy” their love instead of “valuing” it.
Second Law- The Law of Compensation
“Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.”
I’ll use one of the agents who is highly successful within my brokerage who wakes up everyday & says “How can I serve people today?” – with this law our compensation is directly proportional to how many lives you touch. If you want to be successful, find a way to serve more people. – This means that there are no limitations to what you can earn because you can always find more people to serve.
Too often we mix up value and compensation … and they are two different things.
Value is derived by what we do, from the customer’s perspective – compensation is derived by how many people we do it for.
Third Law- The Law of Influence
“Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.”
When was the last time you were truly excited to hear about someone else’s interests? Because I know for a lot of us we can be selfish, but hate to admit it. – Remember back to a time when you first met someone, did you ask them questions about their life, family, hobbies, etc? Or did you just talk about yourself the whole time? –
I live by this rule day in and day out. Anytime I met someone new, I may come off as “nosy” but really I’m just curious about who they truly are, what they like, where they are from and how they became who they are today. I love knowing details and the little things, that way the next time I see them I can ask “How is water skiing going?” or “How are jimmy and timmy doing? & the way their face lights up when you actually remember those little things about them makes a world of difference. If you focus on them first with no strings attached they will start to trust you are not motivated solely by your own interests.
This does not make you a pushover, nor does it mean you should allow others to take advantage of you. You do not have to give up your own desire and interests. It simply means you actively and consistently look for ways to provide value to others, focus on what they want, and make it your livelihood. This is the golden rule of business and is the fastest way to make people know, like, and trust you.
The Fourth Law- Law of Authenticity
“The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.”
Basically gives it away with the word “Authentic.” Be yourself no matter what. In any skill or trade you learn make sure you aren’t becoming a carbon copy of your mentors nor teachers, but becoming a better version of “yourself” with the skills they have taught you. — It’s funny I’ve always been told, “Alli, you have such great energy. Always excited, eager and ready to go, but we may have to learn to dial it down a little.”
Okay yes, I may be a spaz at times, talk a lot, giggle and always driven by excitement, but you know what? That’s what makes me who I am! & when I try to dial that down people notice it. They love that about me because it makes me unique & “AUTHENTIC”
The greatest value you can bring is experience, personality, tone, body language, word choice, and way of thinking. These bring the most significant value you can add to each quality of life.
The 5th Law- The Law of Receptivity
“The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving”
Which comes to the last most important law of them all.
Each of the previous laws teaches you to give, while this one will teach you to receive. Think about when you buy groceries–you exchange the value of your labor in the form of payment. Do they provide exceeding value? (only you know the answer to that). You need both giving and receiving to grow and not to become stagnated. When you focus on delivering value to others, you earn the right to receive. In fact, giving is made possible because it is also a receiving.
The truth is that most of us are afraid of receiving due to several factors:
- We live in a culture that overemphasizes independence and privacy, personal effort, and hard work.
- We feel we do not deserve what we have.
- Being open to receive might mean that we are weak and vulnerable.
Don’t refuse the gifts of others and shut yourself down. Receiving is the secret of staying young, vibrant, and vital throughout your life.
Examples of being receptive include:
- Allowing others to help you grow and reach your dreams.
- Being curious and believing in yourself.
- Giving more so that you can receive more.
- Learning from a mentor.
So I leave ya’ll with this, read this book pronto!! lol It will change your outlook on so many things. – I have always been so closed off from receiving anything. From little gifts from my friends, to having someone actually help me for a positive reason not just for their gain, to being there when they need me most but shutting them out when they try and be there for me. Now I come at it with a hole different light and now open to allowing people to love me just as much as I do them ❤
Below is a link to the book on Amazon 🙂
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